Alien: Covenant (2017)

John Denver, crackling through the radio static, is all it takes for the crew of Alien: Covenant to detour to a planet nobody has charted. That’s the level of judgment on this ship. Michael Fassbender plays two androids, and the scene where one teaches the other to play the flute is the strangest, best thing in it. Everything around that scene plays like a checklist the studio handed over: crew lands, crew splits up, creature gets loose, lights flicker. The creatures are rubbery CGI that zip around too fast to be scary, and the crew is mostly couples you’ll mix up until they’re gone. Danny McBride, of all people, is the most human person on board, cowboy hat and all. Katherine Waterston does her best with what’s basically a Ripley sketch. It made $240.9 million worldwide on a reported budget as high as $111M. A 4.8 because Ridley Scott clearly cares more about his android than his monster. $854 says you hear Country Roads in a grocery store this year and walk straight out.

What works: Michael Fassbender’s double performance is fascinating, and Danny McBride brings real heart as the pilot.

What doesn’t: The creatures are weightless CGI, the crew makes baffling choices, and the horror never builds real tension.

Who it’s for: Fans more invested in David the android than the xenomorph, and anyone still chasing answers from Prometheus.