Bullet Train (2022)

One briefcase, one train, and a script convinced every single assassin deserves a flashback with its own title card. Bullet Train is loud, cute and way too pleased with itself. Brad Pitt plays Ladybug like a guy fresh out of therapy who would really like everyone to stop shooting, please. The best thing on board is Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry as Tangerine and Lemon, bickering like brothers stuck in a back seat, with Lemon sizing up everyone by which Thomas the Tank Engine character they are. That bit should have been the whole movie. Instead the plot keeps doubling back to explain coincidences nobody asked about, and the last act gets so cartoonish the train basically turns into a theme park ride. 127 minutes, 52% with critics, a 7.3 on IMDb. A 6.3 because the cast is a blast and the story is a bag of loose marbles. $18 says you start sorting your coworkers into Thomas the Tank Engine characters before Friday.

What works: Tangerine and Lemon are a perfect bickering duo, and Brad Pitt’s tired, polite hitman gets real laughs out of just wanting to go home.

What doesn’t: Every character gets a flashback that stops the train cold, and the twisty plot explains itself so many times the fun runs out before the last stop.

Who it’s for: People who like their action comedies loud, colorful and full of famous faces popping in for a scene.