Escape Plan (2013)

Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger finally share a prison yard, and the movie is so happy about it that it forgets to be clever. Stallone’s Ray is supposed to be a genius who escapes by math, studying guard rotations and bolt patterns, but the plot keeps needing a lucky break. Arnold is clearly having the most fun. At one point he launches into a wild rant in German to fake a breakdown, and it’s the best scene in the film. Jim Caviezel plays the warden as a soft-spoken creep who keeps butterflies under glass, which is a very specific villain hobby. 50 Cent and Vinnie Jones mostly fill space. The prison is a cool idea, glass cells and all, and the final breakout is noisy fun. It made $137.3 million worldwide on a reported $54M to $70M, mostly outside the US. A 5.4 because two old legends are good company and the actual escape plan is pretty basic. $41.07 says you look at the air vent in your bedroom tonight and seriously wonder if you’d fit.

What works: Schwarzenegger is loose and funny, and Jim Caviezel’s calm, creepy warden is a fun villain.

What doesn’t: The escape relies on lucky breaks and convenient helpers, so Ray’s supposed genius never really shows.

Who it’s for: Eighties action fans who have wanted these two in the same frame since the days of VHS.