Falcon Express (2025)

The hero of Falcon Express is a raccoon named Maurice who tells everybody a falcon raised him, because the truth, a pigeon named Rico, doesn’t sound tough enough. It’s the best joke here, and it comes early. In the US it’s called Pets on a Train, which is also the whole plot. Falcon helps a badger named Hans rob a train for a Christmas feast, Hans tricks the humans into getting off, and the last carriage rolls away full of pets: a police dog named Rex, a cat named Maggie, an anaconda, two influencer pets and a clownfish stuck waiting in a toilet for a jar. That’s a crowd for 87 minutes, and most get one gag each. A subplot about two TV reporters hoping a crash will boost their ratings is sourer than everything around it. The collapsing bridge is decent cartoon chaos, though. It made $14.1 million worldwide. A 4.8 because the critters are cute and the ride is generic. $68.28 says your kids start telling people a falcon raised them, and you let it slide.

What works: Falcon’s fib about being raised by a falcon is a sweet running joke, and the collapsing bridge sequence delivers some real cartoon chaos.

What doesn’t: The pet cast is so crowded that most of the animals get one joke each, and the plot sticks to a standard runaway-train template.

Who it’s for: Kids who like their cartoons loud, fast and packed with talking pets, plus the grown-ups who drove them there.