Fantastic Four (2005)

Victor Von Doom turns evil in Fantastic Four partly because his company’s stock dips, which makes him a supervillain a decent financial advisor could have talked down. Julian McMahon plays him like a smug guy at a charity gala, not a menace. The plot is mostly the team bickering in a lab, then a final fight on one city street that’s over before it starts. Ioan Gruffudd’s Reed is so stiff he stretches more than he emotes, and Jessica Alba gets stuck with lines that are just science words in a row. Chris Evans plays Johnny as a show-off having the best summer of his life, and you can watch a movie star warming up. Michael Chiklis, under all that orange rock, gives Ben the film’s only real sadness. Critics gave it 28%, and it still made $333.5 million worldwide on a reported $100 million. A 3.6 because it plays like the pilot for a TV show nobody ordered. $667.42 says you whisper flame on while lighting a birthday candle and the whole table groans.

What works: Chris Evans is a blast as the cocky Human Torch, and Michael Chiklis gives the Thing real heart under the rubber.

What doesn’t: Doom is a dull businessman instead of a threat, the story barely leaves the lab, and the finale fizzles out fast.

Who it’s for: Kids who want bright colors and superpowers, and Chris Evans completists curious about his early days.