Ice Cream Man (2026)

Lactose intolerance is the superpower in Ice Cream Man, and it’s the only fun idea the movie has. Jared can’t have dairy, so he passes on the treats from the silent truck that just rolled into Bayleen Bay, which makes him one of the few kids still acting normal once the others start staring at clips of a cartoon mascot. Eli Roth is plainly chasing Weapons here, and he misses its slow, eerie humor completely. What he brings instead is loud, mean and shallow. Jared, Tommy and Mia hide out at school, then in a church basement with a walk-in freezer full of the stuff, and the movie keeps confusing nasty for clever. The jokes are in poor taste, the scares are cheap, and the backstory, when it finally shows up, is gloomy without saying anything. It made $7.8 million worldwide on a reported $5.5M. A 2.1 because one decent gag isn’t a movie. $92.36 says you hear an ice cream truck jingle next summer and wait a full minute before you go outside.

What works: A hero saved by skipping dessert is a genuinely funny idea, and a silent truck rolling through town at night looks creepy.

What doesn’t: It’s a shallow copy of better creepy-kid movies, with tasteless jokes, cheap scares and a backstory that goes nowhere.

Who it’s for: Grown-up horror completists who have to see every Eli Roth movie, no matter what.