John Carter (2012)

$306.6M. That’s the reported budget, and the best thing it bought is a lumpy Martian dog named Woola who zooms around like a furry missile and adores John from day one. The rest is a mixed bag. Taylor Kitsch has the jaw and the leaping, but his John is so grumpy and blank that the dog has more personality. Lynn Collins does better as Dejah Thoris, a princess who is also the planet’s smartest scientist, and she sells the big speeches. The Tharks, tall green Martians with four arms, look great, and the low-gravity jumps are a blast. Then the lore hits. Therns, Zodanga, Helium, a magic medallion, a mysterious blue ray: the opening stretch sounds like a fantasy novel’s index read out loud. Andrew Stanton builds a real world and forgets to make it easy to walk into. It made $284.1 million worldwide. A 6.3 because the adventure is big-hearted and the story is buried under its own made-up words. $52.45 says you hop off the bottom stair tomorrow and wonder how far that would get you on Mars.

What works: The low-gravity action is a blast, the Tharks look terrific, and Woola is an all-time movie dog.

What doesn’t: Taylor Kitsch’s hero is flat, and the opening stretch buries you in made-up names before you have a reason to care.

Who it’s for: Old-school adventure fans who like sword fights, princesses and big leaps on alien planets.