Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Ocean’s Twelve is a home movie from the cast’s European vacation, and you weren’t invited. Every actor looks like they’re having the time of their lives in Rome and Amsterdam, and almost none of that fun makes it through the screen. The plot is a smug knot: a rival thief, a priceless egg, a deadline, and a last-minute explanation that makes most of what you watched feel pointless. The low point is the stretch where Tess pretends to be Julia Roberts, and the movie thinks the meta joke counts as a plan. Catherine Zeta-Jones gives it real energy as a detective chasing her ex. Vincent Cassel’s Night Fox does a laser-dodging dance through a museum, and it’s the best scene because it’s the only one with physical stakes. It made $362.7 million worldwide on a reported $110M budget. A 4.6 because the first movie made cool look easy and this one just looks lazy. $4,118 says you put Ocean’s Eleven back on the second this one ends.

What works: The Night Fox’s laser dance, Catherine Zeta-Jones chasing her ex, and some gorgeous European locations.

What doesn’t: The plot is a smug in-joke, the Julia Roberts bit is painfully pleased with itself, and the final explanation makes the whole heist feel pointless.

Who it’s for: Completists who need every Ocean’s movie, and people who mainly want to look at Lake Como.