Pain & Gain (2013)

Pain & Gain takes a true story with real victims and shoots it like an energy drink commercial. Michael Bay is fascinated by Daniel Lugo, a Miami trainer who thinks self-help slogans are a business plan, and the movie spends 129 minutes in slow motion admiring how dumb and how sure of himself he is. Mark Wahlberg commits completely. Dwayne Johnson is the standout as Paul, a gentle, born-again ex-con who keeps trying to do the right thing and keeps getting talked out of it. He’s funny and weirdly sweet, which only makes the tone harder to swallow. Ed Harris shows up late as a retired detective, and the movie finally gets a grown-up in the room. The problem is the laughing. These were real crimes, and the people who got hurt deserved better than freeze frames and punchlines. It made $87.3 million worldwide on a reported $26M. A 4.4 because the cast is fearless and the jokes point at the wrong people. $94.95 says you stop laughing somewhere in the second half and never quite start again.

What works: Dwayne Johnson is funny and surprisingly tender as Paul, and Ed Harris gives the last stretch some welcome weight.

What doesn’t: It plays real crimes with real victims as broad comedy, and 129 minutes of Bay’s slow motion makes that choice harder to forgive.

Who it’s for: Viewers curious how Michael Bay handles a smaller true story, who can take a comedy that keeps crossing lines.