Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Disney turned a theme park ride into a movie, which should have been a disaster, and the only real damage is the runtime. The Curse of the Black Pearl takes 143 minutes, and the middle loops through so many captures and escapes that the crew should earn frequent flyer points. Orlando Bloom plays Will Turner like a very polite plank. Then Johnny Depp sways into frame and steals everything, walking like the deck is moving even on dry land, talking like he’s three steps ahead and also slightly lost. Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa is the perfect opposite, all teeth, grudges and green apples. Keira Knightley outsmarts half the pirates around her. The moonlight trick that turns the cursed crew into skeletons still looks great. It made $654.3 million worldwide on a reported $140M budget and launched a whole fleet of sequels. An 8.2 because Jack Sparrow was lightning in a bottle, and nobody caught it twice. $4,596 says you end a sentence with savvy this week and nobody laughs but you.

What works: Johnny Depp’s career-defining Jack Sparrow, Geoffrey Rush’s gleefully hammy Barbossa, and the moonlit skeleton effects.

What doesn’t: It’s too long, the middle repeats the same capture and escape beats, and Will Turner is a very stiff romantic lead.

Who it’s for: Anyone who wants a swashbuckler that’s funny, spooky and big, from older kids to grown-ups who still quote it.