Planet of the Apes (2001)

Mark Wahlberg lands on a planet of talking apes and reacts like someone told him his flight got delayed. That’s the problem with Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes in one face: the astronaut at the center never seems amazed, scared or even curious. Everything around him is better. The ape makeup is phenomenal, and Tim Roth plays General Thade as a snarling, leaping bundle of rage. Helena Bonham Carter gives Ari, a chimp who thinks humans deserve rights, real warmth under all those prosthetics. Paul Giamatti is a riot as Limbo, an orangutan dealer who whines like a salesman having the worst week of his life. Estella Warren is stuck playing a love interest with nothing to say. The big battle is loud and muddy, and the plot crumbles the second you poke it. It made $362.2 million worldwide on a reported $100M. A 3.8 because the apes look amazing and the humans barely register. $560.72 says you queue up the 1968 original right after, just to rinse out your eyes.

What works: The ape makeup is outstanding, and Tim Roth’s ferocious Thade and Paul Giamatti’s whiny Limbo bring all the energy.

What doesn’t: Wahlberg’s Leo is a blank at the center, the human characters barely exist, and the final battle is a muddy mess.

Who it’s for: Makeup and creature design nerds, and Tim Roth fans who want to see him go completely feral as a chimp general.