Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Who decided Snow White should be the least interesting person in her own movie? Kristen Stewart mostly runs through mud and stares into the distance, and her big battle speech lands like a homeroom announcement. Charlize Theron is having the time of her life. Her queen screams at mirrors, soaks in a milk bath and drains the youth out of people with total conviction. Chris Hemsworth’s Huntsman is a gloomy widower who’d rather be in a tavern, and he’s fine at it. The forest stuff is gorgeous: a sanctuary of blinking mushrooms, moss-covered creatures and a giant white stag. Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins and Ray Winstone turn up as dwarves and get more personality out of one campfire scene than the princess gets all movie. The love triangle with William goes nowhere. It made $396.6 million worldwide on a reported $170M. A 4.2 because the villain and the visuals are worth a look and the hero isn’t. $324.36 says you ask your bathroom mirror a question before the week is out and act annoyed when it stays quiet.

What works: Charlize Theron’s screaming, scheming queen is a blast, and the enchanted forest scenes look amazing.

What doesn’t: Snow White barely registers as a character, her big rallying speech falls flat, and the love triangle never goes anywhere.

Who it’s for: People who like dark fairy tales with big visuals and a villain who chews every scene.