Ted movie poster
Poster © Universal Pictures. Shown at reduced size for review and commentary.
GenreComedy
RatedR
Runtime1 hr 46 mins
ReleasedJune 29, 2012
StreamingSee Where to Watch
DirectorSeth MacFarlane
StarringMark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane

Ted (2012)

movie.guru URL: https://movie.guru/ted-movie-review
Ted's Details
GenreComedy
RatedR
Released06/21/2012 (Grauman's Chinese Theatre); 06/29/2012 (United States)
StreamingSee Where to Watch on this page.
Running Time1 hr 46 mins
BudgetNot reported
Box OfficeUpdated daily from Box Office Mojo. See the numbers below.
CountryUnited States
LanguageEnglish
Ted's Interests
GeneralThunderstorms, Flash Gordon, Boston accents, grocery store jobs, wishes that work way too well.
MusicWalter Murphy. Yes, the "A Fifth of Beethoven" guy, going full old-Hollywood orchestra.
MoviesFlash Gordon (1980). The sacred text.
TelevisionFamily Guy. Same voice, different family.
HeroesSam J. Jones. The actual Flash Gordon, playing himself.
Ted's Crew
DirectorSeth MacFarlane
WritersSeth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild, Seth MacFarlane (story)
ProducersScott Stuber, Seth MacFarlane, John Jacobs, Jason Clark
CinematographyMichael Barrett
MusicWalter Murphy
Edited ByJeff Freeman
ProductionMedia Rights Capital, Fuzzy Door Productions, Bluegrass Films, Smart Entertainment
Distributed ByUniversal Pictures
Ted's Trailer
Official Trailer • Universal Pictures
How Ted Performed
movie guru's TLDR

Take the talking bear out of Ted and you’ve got the most standard comedy of 2012: a guy who won’t grow up, a girlfriend who’s done waiting, a big apology in the third act. The bear is doing all the lifting. Seth MacFarlane voices Ted like a Boston uncle who never got off the couch, and the first time a cute stuffed animal says something rude it’s genuinely funny. By the second act, less so. Mark Wahlberg is great at playing a lovable lunk, Mila Kunis does what she can with a role that’s mostly sighing, and the Flash Gordon obsession is so specific it loops back around to charming. Then the movie hands its last stretch to Giovanni Ribisi as a creepy superfan and a chase that drags. It made $549.4 million worldwide on a reported $50 million budget, so the bear clearly had fans. A 5.8 because the gimmick wins and the movie around it loses. $723 says you look at an old stuffed animal tonight and feel a little suspicious of it.

What works: Seth MacFarlane’s voice work makes Ted a believable, rowdy roommate, and the Flash Gordon obsession is weirdly sweet.

What doesn’t: Strip out the bear and it’s a by-the-numbers romcom, and the third-act chase with a creepy fan drags.

Who it’s for: Fans of Seth MacFarlane’s brand of humor, and anyone who still has the teddy bear from when they were a kid.

Spoilers

Donny kidnaps Ted for his son, and Ted gets torn in half during a chase at Fenway Park. Lori makes her own wish that night, Ted comes back good as new, and John and Lori finally get married.

Guru’s Take
5.8/10
Average
Ted's Blurbs
About me:

In 1985, lonely eight-year-old John Bennett wishes his new teddy bear could talk, and the wish actually works. The bear, Ted, becomes a celebrity for about five minutes. Fast forward to 2012: grown-up John (Mark Wahlberg) still lives in Boston with Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane), who has turned into a foul-mouthed couch potato, and John's girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) is running out of patience. She wants a grown man. He wants to watch Flash Gordon with his bear. MacFarlane directs too. One hundred six minutes, one roommate who will not move out.

Who I'd like to meet:

Anyone scared of thunderstorms. He knows a song for that.

Ted's Cast (in credits order)
Mark WahlbergJohn Bennett
Seth MacFarlaneTed
Mila KunisLori Collins
Joel McHaleRex
Giovanni RibisiDonny
Aedin MincksRobert
Patrick WarburtonGuy
Laura VandervoortTanya
Matt WalshThomas Murphy
Jessica BarthTami-Lynn McCafferty
Bill SmitrovichFrank Stevens
Alex BorsteinHelen Bennett
Ralph GarmanSteve Bennett
Jessica StroupTracy
Ginger GonzagaGina
Sam J. Joneshimself
Ryan Reynolds (uncredited)Jared
Norah Jonesherself
Tom Skerritthimself
Mike Henrya Southern newscaster
Robert WuQuan Ming / Ming the Merciless
Ted Danson (uncredited)himself
Patrick Stewartthe Narrator
Shawn Thorntonthe enraged audience member
Full cast and crew on IMDb.
Ted's Edit History
Every change to this page, newest first. Movie data updates are logged like any other edit.
  • (cur | prev) 14:30, 17 October 2026 DataBot +520 Numbers refreshed: Production budget Not reported → $50M; Worldwide box office $549.4M; Domestic box office $218.8M; Opening weekend $54.4M; Profit / loss (est.) +$199.7M; Rotten Tomatoes 68%; CinemaScore A−; box office chart updated; RT 68% (219 reviews); Metacritic 62 / 100; CinemaScore A−; IMDb users 6.9 / 10 (721,531 votes); movie.guru score 6.2.
  • (cur | prev) 12:00, 17 October 2026 DataBot +2,000 Profile created from Wikipedia and Box Office Mojo: cast, crew, release dates, budget, official trailer.