The Expendables (2010)

Jason Statham’s character is named Lee Christmas, and that’s the most inventive thing anyone wrote for The Expendables. The rest is a reunion of action legends that forgets to give most of them anything to do. Jet Li, one of the great screen fighters, gets shortchanged on actual fighting. Dolph Lundgren plays a loose cannon so inconsistent that the movie can’t decide which side he’s on, and neither can he. Worse, the fights are shot dark and chopped so fast you can’t tell whose fist belongs to whom. Statham gets a basketball court scene that’s pure, grumpy Statham, and Mickey Rourke’s long, sad speech in his tattoo shop is the only time the movie slows down and means something. It made $274.5 million worldwide anyway. A 4.2 because the poster promised a legends game and the movie forgot to pass the ball. $4,797 says you plan a reunion with your old crew and the first fight is over whose name goes on top of the invite.

What works: Mickey Rourke’s quiet monologue and Jason Statham’s dry charm give the movie its only real life.

What doesn’t: The action is shot too dark and cut too fast to follow, and most of the famous cast gets nothing to do.

Who it’s for: Fans of 1980s action heroes who mostly want to see the old gang in the same room again.