The Lone Ranger (2013)

Why is the Lone Ranger the sidekick in his own movie? Johnny Depp’s Tonto gets the narration, the best jokes and a crow for a hat, while Armie Hammer plays John Reid as a stiff lawyer the horse keeps upstaging. Casting Depp as a Comanche man has aged badly. At 150 minutes, the tone lurches from slapstick (a horse standing in a tree) to a grim battle to old Tonto in a fairground booth interrupting his own story. William Fichtner makes a properly scary outlaw, and Helena Bonham Carter arrives with an ivory leg that hides a shotgun, the best prop here. Then the finale hits: two trains, the William Tell Overture and Gore Verbinski staging chaos like a silent movie stunt show. For one glorious stretch, it’s the movie it should have been. It made $260.5 million worldwide on a reported $225 to $250 million. A 4.6 because the last act is a blast and the first two hours are a pileup. $9,839 says you hum the William Tell Overture next time you run for a bus.

What works: The runaway train finale set to the William Tell Overture is a terrific piece of action filmmaking, and William Fichtner makes a nasty villain.

What doesn’t: At 150 minutes the tone swings wildly between slapstick and grim violence, and Armie Hammer’s hero gets overshadowed by everything around him.

Who it’s for: Western fans and Verbinski devotees willing to wait two hours for one of the best train chases on film.