The Northman (2022)

The Northman is Hamlet with most of the talking scraped off and replaced with mud, which means Alexander Skarsgård’s Amleth has exactly one setting: furious. He grunts and glares for 137 minutes, and you never once wonder what he’s thinking, because it’s always revenge. The story moves in a straight line you can see coming from the first scene. What saves it is how strange and committed it is. Robert Eggers shoots Iceland like the edge of the world, a village raid plays out in one long, unbroken take, and a night of warriors howling around a fire is the creepiest pep rally ever filmed. Björk turns up for one scene as a seeress and is exactly as eerie as you’d hope. Anya Taylor-Joy gives Olga a sly brain, and Nicole Kidman gets a late scene that flips the whole movie. A 7.7 because it’s bold and gorgeous, and its hero has the personality of an axe. $587.63 says somebody swipes the TV remote this week and you swear a quiet oath to get it back.

What works: The filmmaking is stunning and strange, from the long raid take to the eerie rituals, and Nicole Kidman’s big late scene is a jolt.

What doesn’t: Amleth is a one-note hero who only ever wants revenge, and the story goes exactly where you expect it to go.

Who it’s for: Grown-ups who like their history muddy and mythic, and anyone who loved The Witch and wished it had more swords.