The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

New Moon is the one where Edward leaves, and the movie’s pulse leaves with him. For a long stretch, Bella mostly sits by a window while the camera circles her and the months change outside, a striking shot that’s also basically the plot. When she isn’t staring, she’s chasing risky stunts so a hazy vision of Edward will show up and scold her, a habit the movie treats as romantic. Kristen Stewart commits to the misery, but all the script lets her do is hurt. Taylor Lautner gets the warmest scenes as Jacob, and their junkyard motorcycle project has a real friendship in it, until the wolf pack shows up. Billy Burke, as Bella’s dad, is quietly the best part of the saga, one deadpan sigh at a time. Critics gave it 28% on Rotten Tomatoes, and it still made $713.1 million worldwide on a reported $50M. A 3.1 because 130 minutes of sulking needs more than a nice soundtrack. $782 says you spin slowly in an office chair this week and feel three seasons go by.

What works: Billy Burke’s deadpan dad and Taylor Lautner’s easygoing Jacob give the movie its only real warmth.

What doesn’t: Bella spends most of the runtime frozen in grief, and the movie mistakes her reckless stunts for romance.

Who it’s for: Twilight fans who want to relive the saga’s most dramatic heartbreak, wolf pack and all.