Transporter 2 (2005)

Frank Martin barrel-rolls his Audi so a dangling crane hook can pluck a bomb off the bottom, and that’s one of the more sensible things he does in Transporter 2. Physics quits early. The plot, a kidnapping that sprouts a virus scheme aimed at a room full of officials, is so convoluted that you’ll stop following it and just watch the fists. That’s fine, because the fists are great. Jason Statham fights a squad of goons with a fire hose and makes it look like choreography. His bond with Hunter Clary’s Jack is sweet, a stiff guy learning to loosen his tie for a kid. Kate Nauta’s Lola is a cackling cartoon, and Alessandro Gassmann’s Gianni is a smug cologne ad. François Berléand’s Inspector Tarconi pops in for comic relief, and he’s welcome. At 87 minutes, it never overstays. It made $89.1 million worldwide on a reported $32M. A 4.7 because Statham is a blast and everything around him is nonsense. $694 says you peek under your car before work tomorrow and feel extremely silly about it.

What works: Jason Statham is a natural action star, the fights are inventive, and his scenes with young Hunter Clary give the movie a little heart.

What doesn’t: The poisoned-virus plot is silly and confusing, the villains are flat cartoons, and the stunts get so impossible that the danger disappears.

Who it’s for: Anyone who wants a short, ridiculous car and fistfight movie for a lazy Saturday and doesn’t need it to make sense.