Twilight (2008)

Edward Cullen could have graduated high school several times over, and he keeps enrolling anyway. That’s Twilight’s biggest mystery, and the movie never solves it. The whole thing is tinted so blue it looks like it was filmed at the bottom of a swimming pool. Kristen Stewart plays Bella as mostly long pauses, and Robert Pattinson plays Edward like a guy smelling something terrible every time she walks in, which, to be fair, is kind of the plot. The dialogue reads like a diary entry somebody found in a locker. And yet it works on people, and I get it. The vampire baseball game in a thunderstorm is gloriously silly, the misty forests look great, and Catherine Hardwicke takes teen feelings seriously when nobody else would. It made $405 million worldwide on a reported $37 million budget. A 4.2 because it’s a mess, but a sincere mess with a great soundtrack. $248 says you rewatch the baseball scene tonight and tell everyone it’s ironic.

What works: The moody forest setting, the gloriously silly vampire baseball scene and a director who treats teen romance sincerely.

What doesn’t: The dialogue is stiff, the blue tint is relentless, and the leads spend most scenes staring instead of talking.

Who it’s for: Anyone who was a teenager in 2008, and anyone who wants to watch it with friends and narrate every long stare.