Underworld (2003)

Underworld’s real star is a blue color filter, and it never takes a scene off. Every frame is soaked in it, every coat is leather, and nobody has smiled since the Middle Ages. Kate Beckinsale makes Selene a cool, believable action lead, flipping off rooftops and firing two pistols at once like she’s late for something. The trouble is everyone around her. Scott Speedman’s Michael is confused and on the run for nearly the whole thing, which is relatable but not exciting. The lore gets dumped in long, whispery speeches, and the vampire mansion politics play like a condo board meeting. Then Bill Nighy wakes up as Viktor and starts glaring at people, Michael Sheen’s Lucian brings real hurt, and suddenly the movie has a pulse. It made $95.7 million worldwide on a reported $22M. A 4.9 because Selene looks incredible and the script mostly whispers. $674 says you dig out a long black coat this winter and walk a little slower every time you wear it.

What works: Kate Beckinsale is a cool, convincing lead, and Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen give the lore some real bite.

What doesn’t: The story is buried in whispered exposition, and Scott Speedman’s Michael is too passive to carry the human side.

Who it’s for: Fans of moody monster movies who care more about the leather and the blue lighting than the plot.