8 Beloved 2000s Movies I Just Can't Love. I Tried. The Numbers Know I Tried.

Everyone loves these. The crowd numbers prove it. My Take sits well below every one. Not hate. Just honest, slightly disappointed love.

Number one made $883 million and has a wand pointed at me.

1. 8
   Crash (2004)7.7

   It explains its message like a substitute teacher.

   A minus CinemaScore and a 7.7 movie.guru score on a reported $6.5M budget. I give it 5.4. Every scene corners someone and makes them say the theme out loud.
2. 7
   300 (2006)6.9

   Gorgeous slow motion, but I couldn't name three Spartans.

   Nearly 924,000 IMDb votes and $456 million worldwide. Zack Snyder built a moving painting. Gerard Butler yelling is a vibe, not a personality. My Take: 5.6.
3. 6
   The Blind Side (2009)7.4

   Sandra Bullock is great. The movie forgets whose story it is.

   A+ CinemaScore and $256 million domestic, yet critics beat only 43% of movies. Quinton Aaron's character feels like a guest in his own story. 5.9 from me.
4. 5
   Garden State (2004)8.3

   Zach Braff made a mood, not a movie.

   Made for a reported $2.5M, it holds an 8.3 movie.guru score. Natalie Portman carries the energy. Braff plays numb so well the movie goes numb too. I land at 6.1.
5. 4
   The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)8.0

   A man ages backwards and the story barely moves forward.

   David Fincher, Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, and a reported $150 to $167 million budget. The effects are legit. The feeling stays polite. 8.0 movie.guru score, 6.6 from me.
6. 3
   A Beautiful Mind (2001)8.1

   Russell Crowe is all in. The movie sands off every edge.

   Over 1 million IMDb votes and $316.8 million worldwide. Ron Howard makes a hard life feel tidy and inspirational. Tidy is exactly my problem. My Take: 6.8.
7. 2
   Cars (2006)7.7

   Pixar's weakest heart, wrapped in its shiniest paint job.

   $484 million worldwide on a reported $120M budget, A CinemaScore. Kids adore it, fair. Paul Newman is wonderful. Owen Wilson's race car mostly learns to stop being rude. 6.0 from me.
8. 1
   Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)7.9

   Fun Hogwarts, but it's the first movie on repeat.

   $883.6 million worldwide and an A+ CinemaScore, so I'm outnumbered. Chris Columbus reruns the first film's beats. Kenneth Branagh's glorious preening is the highlight. 6.4 from me.

$726.19 says you type "Cars is perfect" before you even finish reading number one.

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Current mood: ready to fight about it