None of these are bad movies. Most are good. But my Take lands well under the movie.guru score on all eight, and here's why.
Number one made $2.94 billion. I'm still not fully on board.
- 8
Spielberg built a great scavenger hunt, then forgot the people.
6.9 movie.guru score, my Take 5.2. The race scene is nuts. But the characters are thinner than their avatars, and $607.9M worldwide says nobody else minded.
- 7
Photoreal lions can't make faces, so the songs lose their heart.
Critics beat just 39% of movies, audiences 80%. My 4.9 sides with critics. Gorgeous savanna, zero expressions, and $1.66B worldwide for a nature documentary with karaoke.
- 6
The beasts are delightful. Everything around them is homework.
$816M worldwide and a 7.4 score. My 5.6 is for the creatures and Dan Fogler. The rest is franchise setup wearing a very nice coat.
- 5
Ultron gets the best lines and the least to do.
Over 1 million IMDb votes, a 7.6 score. My 5.8: a farmhouse detour, a cave-pool vision quest, and a villain who deserved half that screen time.
- 4
Half a movie, and most of that half is camping.
8.0 movie.guru score, Metacritic 65. My 6.3. The opening escape rules, then the trio sulks in a tent for what feels like a full semester.
- 3
Biggest gap on this list. The mystery box is mostly box.
8.5 score, my 5.7, a 2.8-point gap. Cumberbatch is legit menacing and the CinemaScore was an A. The crew still gets buried under plot secrets.
- 2
A real genius, sanded down into a tidy awards-season puzzle.
8.9 score, 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. Metacritic's 71 is closer to my 7.2. Cumberbatch is great and the codebreaking grips, but a complicated real life gets smoothed into formula.
- 1
Great farewell, messy movie. Both things are true.
9.4, Elite, audiences beat 100% of movies, $2.94B worldwide. My 7.8 is for the payoff. The time-travel rules fall apart if you breathe on them.
Change my mind. Rank these from most to least defensible. Wrong answers welcome.
$458.91 says the Endgame comments hit triple digits before anyone defends the Lion King remake.
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Current mood: ready to fight about it