Big scores, smaller crowds. Skip the usual franchise rerun this week and watch these instead. One stars an ape. One is from 1954.
Number one is a Hitchcock movie, and yes, it counts as action.
- 8
Arnold on Mars is exactly as fun as it sounds.
Paul Verhoeven sends Arnold Schwarzenegger to Mars with a memory problem and a lot of rubber masks. $261.3 million worldwide on a reported $48 to $80 million budget.
- 7
Bob Odenkirk as an action hero sounds fake. It rules.
A quiet suburban dad gets pushed too far, and the bus fight alone is worth the 92 minutes. Made for a reported $16 million, only 407,073 IMDb votes.
- 6
Russell Crowe as a charming outlaw is the whole sales pitch.
Christian Bale's broke rancher has to get him on a train, and Ben Foster is unhinged in the best way. $70 million worldwide on a reported $48 to $55 million.
- 5
Steve Zahn's Bad Ape is the best sidekick of 2017.
Andy Serkis leads, and the apes look more alive than most blockbuster humans. Critics rank it above 92% of notable movies, and only 331,081 IMDb votes.
- 4
The best Rocky movie doesn't have Rocky in the ring.
Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan rebuild a franchise from the corner, and one fight plays out in a single unbroken take. 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, and Stallone has never been better.
- 3
No gadgets, no capes, just a doctor who won't get caught.
Harrison Ford runs, Tommy Lee Jones chases, and the train crash early on still looks unreal. $183.9 million domestic, and it plays even better now.
- 2
Toshiro Mifune is the most chaotic hero in action history.
207 minutes, and Akira Kurosawa uses the slow build so every fight counts. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, only 406,986 IMDb votes. Clear a Saturday.
- 1
The best action movie ever is a Hitchcock movie. Yes, really.
Cary Grant gets chased from New York to South Dakota by strangers, and Hitchcock stages every set piece like a blockbuster. A 98 on Metacritic, only 372,589 IMDb votes.
Change my mind. Name an action movie with fewer votes than it deserves.
$798 says you see the runtime on number two and quietly move it to next week.
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Current mood: ready to fight about it