Every movie here scored 9.1 or higher. Nothing is bad. The order is where the arguments start, and the numbers made the call, not me.
#1 has no explosions, no courtroom, no monster. And it still won.
- 8
The slowest movie here, and the most delicious one.
Binoche and Magimel cook like it's a contact sport. 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, only $10.5 million worldwide. Most people skipped a masterpiece and ate cereal instead.
- 7
Tom Cruise jumped off a mountain and only got seventh.
A CinemaScore and a 9.1 score, sure. But a reported $291M budget against $571 million worldwide, and it's half a story. Part One is doing a lot of work.
- 6
The best acting of 2023 came from a $2M budget.
Colman Domingo leads a prison theater troupe and Clarence Maclin steals scenes. 97% on Rotten Tomatoes and just $3.1 million domestic. You owe it a rental.
- 5
The saddest movie on this list, and it isn't close.
Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, a 90 on Metacritic, $4.1 million domestic. Bring tissues. Then bring the backup box you thought you wouldn't need.
- 4
A monster movie with better human drama than most Oscar bait.
99% on Rotten Tomatoes, the highest on this list, and $57 million domestic with subtitles. Hollywood's giant lizard movies should be taking notes in the back row.
- 3
The best courtroom movie in years, made for pocket change.
Sandra Hüller makes you flip your verdict every scene. A reported $6.7M budget, $36 million worldwide, and 239,635 IMDb voters still arguing about it.
- 2
The biggest movie here, and it still only got silver.
$975.8 million worldwide, 8.2 on IMDb from over 1.1 million votes. Nolan turned physicists in meetings into a global event. Somehow, that wasn't enough.
- 1
A man cleaning toilets beat Oppenheimer. Fight me.
Kōji Yakusho cleans Tokyo public toilets and plays cassettes. That's the plot. A 9.4 movie.guru score, best of 2023, on $28 million worldwide. Quiet won.
Change my mind. Rank these from most to least deserving of #1. Wrong answers will be screenshotted.
$1,341 says somebody types 'Oppenheimer got robbed' in the comments within the hour.
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Current mood: ready to fight about it